I hope that when the apocalypse comes, whatever the cause, people remember all these bunkers and the soft fat fleshsacks that inhabit it.
If post collapse life was a video game those bunkers would have the best loot just saying.
Maybe that’s why he took up MMA training.
Good luck grappling a bullet
Parry this you fucking casual
I’m sure his security staff won’t frag him and take over the second the apocalypse comes. No question they’ll want to work for some rich asshole as subordinates after society collapses.
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It’s telling that, “make working for them their best possible choice” wasn’t an option lol
Great article, thanks.
*After his wealth drops to whatever he can secure through combat!
Does the headline contain a question mark?
Not worth clicking then
This one defies Betteridge’s rule because he really is building a bunker in Hawaii. Which will work out for him really well if the Kauai volcano erupts and covers it with lava.
That’s not gonna happen, the Hawaiian volcanos are created by a hot spot in the Earth’s mantle which Kauai shifted away from centuries ago.
if the Kauai volcano erupts
Unfortunately, that’s not how the Hawaiian hotspot works. Kauai is the second-oldest and northwestern of the islands in the state, and since the hotspot has been moving southeast the only places where activity occurs are Maui, the Big Island, and the Kamaʻehuakanaloa Seamount to the southeast of it (which is expected to be a new island in 10k years or so).
Is the hotspot moving, or is the hotspot stationary while continental drift drags the islands away from it?
Depends on your frame of reference. 🤓
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Or when the floods come after all the ice cap melts.
Just have to build it above sea level by about 250ft.
A doomsday bunker on an island? What could possibly go wrong?
Supervillain lair vibe. I hope it’s on top of an active volcano.
Unfortunately, Kauai is no longer active. His lair would have to be on the Big Island or Maui instead for that to be the case.
Fret not, a full nuclear exchange might just reawaken it!
I LOL’d, but I think you’re still being too optimistic. Unless Kauai itself has a military target on it, the closest strike would probably be at Pearl Harbor on Oahu, and that’s 100+ miles away.
This (relevant) bit of stand up has lived rent free in my head for years:
NSFW languagehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?t=46m05s&v=tuw5N73ivgQ&feature=youtu.be
Unrelated fact but did you know all bunkers rely on air vents to the outside? These are often well disguised but they do exist and it would be trivial to pour a flammable substance down them.
I mean, he’s building his secret evil lair on a volcano.
That’d be stupid. What’s the point? Wouldn’t it be better to invade rather than destroy it?
The Lizard King
Yes the 5000 square foot compound that you will now have to maintain yourself since no one will give a fuck about money when shit hits the fan. Forcing you to live there alone with maybe a few weak yes men still around?
all bunkers and compounds should be illegal
Why?
