But…it was ‘almost done’…what happened to it? Did Obama’s dog eat it?
Look, we had the report, ok? It was complete and it was an amazing report, a perfect report, it was just so good. Some say it was the best report they ever saw. My lawyers said, Donald, how did you come up with this, are you a lawyer? Because it was just so perfect. If only they knew! I’m better than any lawyer! And then Obama, this guy… where was he even born? Who is this guy? He sends his vicious dogs after me, they almost got me, these thugs, these evil dogs… and they ate my report. He was so jealous of my report! Look, believe me, ok, I’ll rewrite the report. It will be even better. The best. Believe me.
Needs more witch-hunt
And random capitalizations.
Also it failed to go off on enough of a random tangent. The Obama bit should be about three paragraphs.
That would be surprisingly coherent of him 😜
RIP Bo.
No worries, it was a few words in crayon on the paper wrapper from a burger.
He filed them right next to his healthcare plan and the infrastructure plan, to be released “next week”.
Yeah, but those are understandably delayed while he prepares his tax returns to be released “soon” (as of Jan 24, 2016).
He just needed to feed the idea of it to his base. They won’t know or care that it was an imaginary report, and will never hear that the press conference was canceled.
Damn. I was hoping he’d dig his hole a little deeper.
got stuck in a sand trap on the back nine
There seems to be a long established pattern where Trump daydreams about irrefutable and overwhelming exoneration and then decides it should be true and tells everyone about it. Narcissists have a tendency to create shitstorms and then daydream about escapist fantasies to evade the consequences they always create for themselves.
It’s a proven pattern as well - the braindead followers see him tweet the words ‘REPORT’ and ‘EXONERATION’ and they assume it’s a a done deal and don’t bother to follow up to verify the actual evidence.
If it was Putin I’d say it’s probably an intentional strategy, but with Trump it’s probably more lizard brain instinct gained from his years of grifting.
I mean, it’s your classic real estate sales person. You’ll say and do anything to make the sale, and afterwards you try to weasel out of your fancy promises.
Normally with a state agency it all comes tumbling down the moment you actually view the property.
Oh I see, so when you said picturesque what you meant was microscopic and when you said a lively night life what you meant was it’s in the middle of a gang turf war.
But when you’re selling a building that’s yet to be built, people hand you money without you having to show anything. It’s why developers are such scumbags.
the russian playbook
Ofc he did. His lawyers probably threatened to quit if held it.
But it would have been funny as hell to watch multiple prosecutors use his lies against him in court.
Oh that is still going to happen friend, don’t you worry. He may have canceled this press conference, but there is a never ending supply of other stupid things Trump has said on video (and/or) written down to choose from.
I wonder if they can get recent texts and emails as well. It sounds like continuation of the conspiracy.
Aw shit, I was looking forward to new charges.
Four Seasons Total Landscaping was booked out
What, no VRChat?
There better be a four seasons total landscaping environment in VR chat.
Did he suddenly find that the overwhelming evidence he promised simply does not exist? Or did his lawyers reign him in?
It was right under Obama’s real birth certificate, the one from Kenia!
deleted by creator
“Rather than releasing the Report on the Rigged & Stolen Georgia 2020 Presidential Election on Monday, my lawyers would prefer putting this, I believe, Irrefutable & Overwhelming evidence of Election Fraud & Irregularities in formal Legal Filings,” Trump said on Truth Social.
His lawyers assured them they’re totally going to put it all in their formal report, and then promptly tossed it in the shredder when he left the room.
his attorneys would put his arguments in court filings instead.
Sure, they will…
Kind of one of the reasons why they want to push the trial to 2026. So, yeah, they are totally not going to do that any time soon, if ever.
I’m almost certain it’s what they told him to shut him up.
The evidence is coming! Oh, it’s great evidence. Sure, right now we look like assholes, but that’s because you haven’t seen the evidence yet! It’s coming! Two weeks!
Now this is where dragging out cases is going to work against him.
Trump needs to STFU until next year.
Fat fuckin’ chance of that happening.
Trump needs to STFU until next year.
No, he should not. You know this guy, he will produce more than enough rope to hang him if let lose.
Not a single chance of that at all.
What a little bitch.
Cancel the cancel and do it pussy
{ Cough, cough } Pussy.
Is this moron capable of thinking further than 15 minutes into the future? Did he think people would forget about this magical report that would exonerate him?
You just know his lawyers were like, “If you don’t shut the entire fuck up…”
I wonder if they actually now have him by the balls so he’ll actually starts listening them.
