Adolescents with insecure attachment to their fathers are more likely to develop internalizing and externalizing mental health symptoms, which can lead to increased alcohol use. Attachment to mothers did not show a similar association with these outcomes.
Fathers are great but none is definitely better than insecure attachment to one. The father whose presence or love comes and goes or isn’t stable fucks you up far more than the one who you don’t have
It’s the same with every familial relationship. I’m glad people these days are pushing the found family thing hard to make up for how terrible blood relatives can be for people who need it.
So while I do have a pretty decent relationship with my father, it always did bother me growing up that he was fucking ALWAYS on business trips. Just the nature of the career he had. But in retrospect, absolutely not great for the long-term dynamic.