At this point I’m going to Ladbrokes and betting against everything Kotaku promotes. They are like Jim Cramer of the gaming industry.
The fact that movies aren’t being wholesale investigated for money laundering is a travesty at this point.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I had a conversation with my sister about that recently.
The amount of shows and movies that have $100,000,000+ budgets is rising, yet more and more of them feature very limited sets, small casts of mostly mid range talent, and a dozen executive producers all putting up their own money (this is all especially prominent with big shows on streaming networks, cough Star Trek cough The Acolyte)
Here’s my comparison: a group of 10 investors come out and announce they’re spending a billion dollars to develop a new luxury car. They drum it up as being the next big thing. Then, when it comes out, it’s about as nice and luxurious as a base model Toyota Camry. Fine, but not “a billion dollars” fine. Immediately, everyone would be wondering where the hell that money went? There’s definitely a chance it was just squandered, but you have to wonder. When you have a group of private investors with executive power over the project, what goes on behind closed doors?
For all we know, they’re literally just passing massive checks in a circle to one another to say “yes, it says right here in our bank records that we spent a combined $100,000,000”, meanwhile only 25% actually goes into the production, and they pocket the rest. Then, when the flock of people have to come and check out the new megaproject, all they need to recoup is a few million more than they spent (far less than the perceived budget), and they can run for the hills.
Anywho, crackpot theory time over. But think about it, if my simple brain can think this stuff up, why can’t the hollywood bigwigs, who actually have the capital to make it happen?
It gets better, because all the money they “lost” on a movie they can also write off. Oops, we didn’t make any money this year because we put out 10 billion dollar movies and only made 10 million at the box office. Tax break please!
This specifically is a bit of an open secret afaik. There are a few semi prominent examples of big studios pouring a bunch of money into junk, not advertising it or just skipping theatres entirely, then watching it sink.
For all we know, they’re literally just passing massive checks in a circle to one another to say “yes, it says right here in our bank records that we spent a combined $100,000,000”, meanwhile only 25% actually goes into the production, and they pocket the rest.
That would be illegal and easily discovered
But you could pay $10M to hire another company to do the sound mixing. They might spend $500k to do the work. You might also be the owner of that company, and the money ends up back in your pocket…And that’s not embezzlement or a kickback, because that’s what it’s called when poor people do it
Good point, I shouldn’t have used the world ‘literally.’ I was just trying to make the point that there are plenty of creative ways where tremendous amounts of money could end up back in someones pocket when by all means it should have gone elsewhere.
And yes, your example is perfectly believable and I wouldn’t at all be shocked if that kind of thing happened frequently.
The most frustrating thing about this article is that it completely ignores that good movies targeted at kids still have to be good. Personal complaints aside, the new Mario movie was reasonably good for adults and great for kids. Pixar keeps churning out things that are fantastic on many levels. Bluey is an amazing show that can resonate with kids and parents. I don’t for a minute buy the elitist bullshit of “well you’re not a kid so you can’t comment.” Muppet Treasure Island holds the fuck up as an adult so this writer can fuck right off.
What’s also weird is Minecraft is 15 years old at this point. That means you’ve basically got a huge age range (kids to adults) within the target audience. Why isn’t it targeted at the entire fanbase?
Adults were fans of Minecraft when it came out since there was really no other sandbox game like it at the time. There were precious few sandbox games at the time period.
Oh yeah, I don’t disagree it has had a large following since it released. I was just highlighting that even if a majority of the player base was 5-15 on release, they’d be 20-30 now. So why target just kids.
Sorry, we were in agreement. I’m saying there was always an adult market so you’re right.
Why isn’t it targeted at the entire fanbase?
Is that a serious question? Because the answer is obvious…
Ok, let me start out by saying I have an 8 year old, and he fucking loves Minecraft. And hey, I played the game a bunch back when it was in beta and I was like 25. But I did not love the game the way that he loves the game… He’s obsessive about Minecraft, some days it’s all he talks about. How many adults do you know like that?
And here’s the real question, when’s the last time you bought Minecraft merch for yourself? Because my kid has a Minecraft lunchbox, a Minecraft hoody, a Minecraft Lego set, some Minecraft figurines, and of course the Minecraft sheets and PJs.
Hahaha fair point
“The Writer” is most likely chatgpt. Pretty sure most of these low effort shit gaming/movie articles are AI written at this point.
I never watched any of those shows, but I remember watching SpongeBob and seeing how it was full of many types of humor, some of it adult but also presented in a way that kids just wouldn’t understand. So there was “something for everyone” and part of why it was so popular/successful.
Yes a thousand percent. You can entertain young children by showing a dancing clown on a colorful flashing screen for 3 hours straight. Kids will love it. But that doesn’t make it a good movie.
A good kids movie is not a movie that appeals to kids. It’s a good movie that also appeals to kids.
Hear hear. Soul was a great movie because it was fun for kids but spoke to adults. Pixar does that a lot. A good kids movie is just a good movie that’s appropriate for children. Sure you can feed kids entertainment slop and it might even make bank but if you’re trying to make a film and not just a vehicle for the line to go up then slop is not it.
Personal complaints aside, the new Mario movie was reasonably good for adults and great for kids.
It was mid, until Jack Black’s Bowser hit the screen, and then it was top notch. He absolutely carried that film.
I’ve been playing Minecraft off and on since the Beta. I usually play the “All the mods” packs when they launch.
I do not understand how people get so emotionally invested in an IP.
If it isn’t a good movie who cares? Just spend your time doing something else.
Can’t speak for everyone, but the reason that I care when one of my favorite IPs has a terrible movie, is because the terrible movie ensures that a good one will never be made.
They did a great job with Fallout, and now they are making a second season.
Then there’s Borderlands.
I still haven’t seen it, but I already know that the Borderlands movie I would have loved will never exist.
And in some cases, the IP getting a shit movie or show can tell the game developers “well, time to drop the entire brand for 15 years”.
The Wing Commander and Dungeon Siege treatment.
It wouldn’t have surprised me if WOTC dropped D&D as a brand if Honor Among Thieves had flopped.
I wish they would have. They’ve treated d&d terribly.
the terrible movie ensures that a good one will never be made.
Super Mario Bros got another movie.
But generally, video games don’t usually work as movies. So it isn’t that big of a loss, lol
Super Mario Bros got another movie.
Not all of us have another 30 years to wait for everyone to forget about the first disaster.
I will rewatch a wasted Hoskins and Leguizamo riffing lines in the 90s mario bros forever. That movie is so terrifically bad its awesome.
"Hey, what should our Goombas, a big head with feet and no body, look like in this movie? "
“Obviously, they should have HUGE bodies and a tiny little head!”
They generally don’t work as movies because no one ever follows the story that’s right in front of them. They always add some stupid artistic bullshit preference of their own which causes a huge disconnect from the source material.
I feel there’s this trend where movie directors must and shall make their own story in whatever world is in front of them, instead of trying to make a movie that would fit in the game, or simply take the game’s story and make a movie out of that.
It’s why Lord of The Ring was so fucking good (Christopher Lee/Saruman read the books every year of his life, and corrected Peter Jackson whenever necessary), whereas Rings of Power is shit (I mean, a loving Orc family? What the FUCK have they been snorting!?). It’s also why I’m hopeful to get something good out of Henry Cavill directing any 40k movie (that, or we’re getting nothing, at best. At worst someone else takes over and we’re getting female custodes for no good reason).
Writing for games is usually different than writing for movies.
I believe this is why games tend to do well as TV series – more overlap there.
I don’t buy that. It’s possible but the producers always want to make it “theirs” and it’s not. It’ll never be theirs. The best they could do is just follow the source material as much as possible.
No one cares about your “quirky” changes. And this is quite evident in all the video game tv series that fail. Because the source material was basically thrown away completely. Because they think we’ll gobble up anything just because of the name.
Idk that first Silent Hill movie is actually pretty good imo.
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The new Mario movie was pretty good. There were a few times that I thought “this doesn’t belong here, and they just wanted to shove a reference in”, but overall, I think they did it justice.
Even Chris Pratt.
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Fair enough. I don’t think it was as bad as everyone made it out to be, but I get it.
Yeah, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t a great movie, but it was fun for a kids’ film, and I loved all the references and stuff.
the Borderlands movie I would have loved will never exist.
For me it’s Monster Hunter. I refuse to watch the one they made a few years ago. I wonder if there’s a supercut of only scenes that feature the monsters. Or anything involving the Charge Blade.
After reading the synopsis, why tf did they have to make it an isekai?
Why do you need a Minecraft movie in your life though?
Personally, I don’t need the things I like to be cross format.
If it works as a movie, great.
If it is never made, no problem.
If it fails, meh.
Personally, I don’t have any interest in Minecraft or it’s movie.
But somebody might, and I hope they get the movie they want, not a name-recognition cash grab.
I don’t think anyone needs any movies in their life at all. People would like a minecraft movie in their lives because they like mine craft I presume.
at least you have the excellent ‘tales from the borderlands’ to play. I like to replay that ‘movie’ every year.
I made it about as far into the Borderlands movie as i did with the monsterhunter movie, bailing after about a 3rd of the film.
Not really super popular take, but the sexual politics (as in the way the story treated women) in both were something I struggled to get past. Plus they were both goofy and not in a very fun way. I have very similar feelings about the fallout show lol, but glad you enjoyed it.
But i think i teenager might have liked borderlands
Just reiterating what others have said but… if you have an IP you like and want more of it in the future (regardless of medium!) then its success in any other medium will likely impact whether or not you get more.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where:
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Money matters more to most IP holders than the IP itself
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New IP is seen as risky
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Those in charge don’t have to take responsibility for their failures
If there is a commercial failure of an IP, there is a good chance that its failure will be seen as the IP generally failing or falling out of poluarity instead of the failure to best utilize the IP that likely occurred. As a result, priorities will often shift away from the IP to something else in all mediums (ex. ASOIAF/GOT). Unless the IP is absolutely gangbusters in all other mediums, it will suffer. Similarly, success will likely lead to more utilization of the IP in any medium.
It’s unlikely that the IP owner will sell or license the IP in the near future because at one point it was popular and new IP is hard to make. It would be better to hoard IP and maybe try again in a decade when they need a trick up their sleeve. Plus, another failure might damage the IP even more.
Admittedly, I’m not attached to any brands or IP in particular and so I’m not invested really. I just makes me a little sad when some IP I thought well of has this happen… or when the person who benefits from the IP turns out to be a person I’d rather not give money to. Occasionally I’ll ponder what might have been if things had gone differently and feel a little bad.
If there is a commercial failure of an IP, there is a good chance that its failure will be seen as the IP generally failing or falling out of poluarity instead of the failure to best utilize the IP that likely occurred.
For example, when EA released Tiberian Twilight and it was absolutely awful and didn’t sell, they said that people just didn’t want RTS games anymore and shelved the entire C&C franchise. That was fourteen years ago and we haven’t had a new C&C since then that wasn’t mobile shovelware.
Good points, well put.
This is just one of the many reasons why our current IP laws are complete and utter garbage.
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I’m not like, attending a protest rally or anything. I think it’s perfectly fine to spend literally 7 minutes of my day telling people that this movie is shit.
You “no one should ever express disagreement with anything” people need to chill.
Lol people don’t know how to build a personality that isn’t built out of stuff.
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But we got live action Mortal Kombat…oh
I thought the first movie was great. I viewed it as an action comedy.
i would personally love a Portal movie going into all the lore, since there isn’t too much of that in the games. IDK, call it Portal 3? lol
You don’t think House of the Dead was a cinematic masterpiece? Tsk tsk! Poor taste I say!
I mean, if you’re going to make a movie based on a video game, shouldn’t you aim it at The demographics that most commonly played that video game?
You mean 5-12 year olds? Cause that’s what they did
If were going average or median I would be genuinely surprised if it was under 20 ngl.
They advertise to kids cause kids and adults buy it then, advertise to adults and youre just cutting off part of your market - companies aren’t so super sterilised these days cause today’s youth are just super loaded
I feel like Minecraft has kind of lagged in popularity with the current crop of 5 to 12-year-olds compared to some of the newer games, like Roblox.
Roblox is four years older than minecraft.
Yes, but it’s on average popular with a younger demographic.
Dress To Impress movie adaptation when???
That may be so, but that’s irrelevant to them. Their IP is Minecraft, not Roblox. They only need to appeal to the largest demographic of people who enjoy Minecraft (aka kids, not adults). The other interests of their target audience are hardly relevant. All that matters is that they’re interested in the topic though to see a movie.
Or more accurately, bug their parents to pay to see the movie. Because those are additional tickets, too.
Players aged 15 to 21 make up the largest group of Minecraft’s player base at 43%.
The remaining 21% consists of players between 22 to 30 years old, and 20.59% are users aged 61 to 80.
You might be thinking of demographics from like 10 years ago, but those kids grew up dude. Kids are not the primary demographic.
People need to wake up to the fact that these movies are ads to sell shit. This is an ad to sell Minecraft to a new generation in of kids. Why in the world do you think they keep rebooting movies that’s made for kids like Star Wars and Transformers? Because they sell toys to kids.
So, why Minecraft movie? You admit the stats yourself: they need a new generation of kids to like Minecraft to sell Minecraft branded shit. They don’t even have to play the fuckin game as long as they’re paying for cheap branded clothing and plastic and skins for kids to show off to their friends what brand represents their personality the best.
I don’t think you’re wrong. I do think a good movie would be more profitable than a bad one. I wouldn’t show my kid this movie out of principle, because I happen to be of a generation that cares about this franchise. I wouldn’t buy any merch, toys, or clothes either. I’m sure some would, but I feel strongly that this movie won’t generate the profits they want, and it’ll be specifically because they made something terrible.
I’m not disputing anything you’re saying, just trying to explain the logic of a movie production studio. If they’re trying to make a Minecraft movie, they’re going to gear it to maximize the revenue from their audience.
If they made it a kids movie, it’s because they thought that would make them the most money. Whatever kind of movie they made, it’s for monetary reasons.
That’s why they’ll fail. Thats why so many movies with a great IP to back them fail. They become more interested in profits than telling a good story.
And thats why great movies like the Lego Movie and Puss in Boots the last wish came out of left field and became huge hits. Because they focused on a great story first.
My dude, I agree with you. I’m just explaining how we get bullshit like this movie. Not actually supporting it or approving in any way. I can tell you right now that I have no intention of seeing this movie.
Also, everything is awesome.
There are two main reasons why those numbers are skewed and incorrect.
- Mojang/Microsoft can’t legally keep tallies of players under the age of 13 due to COPA regulations, so that demo is underrepresented
- Those numbers include Java metrics which contrary to popular belief, are absolutely dwarfed by Bedrock players.
Bedrock players are Mojang/Microsoft’s target demo. They spend more money (with both realms and the marketplace) and purchase more merchandise.
or, maybe, the demographic of people playing minecraft is older than you think
I gotta find one of those godly servers populated by retired architects and engineers.
Minecraft is mostly popular with people who were 5 - 12 years old 10 years ago.
Yes cause 5 to 12-year-olds are the only people who play Minecraft. Nobody over the age of 12 plays Minecraft at all and there aren’t millions of Minecraft players out there that are anywhere from 12 to 70 years old.
if it isn’t meant for me, that’s totally fine.
That also means it’s not my fault when the thing that isn’t meant for me doesn’t get a audience, right? Right?
It will have an audience.
By this logic: “The Borderlands movie isn’t meant for you.”
Apparently it wasn’t. I don’t remember where I saw it, I think maybe a Kyle Bosman video, but Gearbox/Randy Pitchford basically said they made the movie to pull in people who hadn’t played the games.
I’ve said this before: Randy Pitchford isn’t very smart.
Randy Pitchford also says he isn’t smart, it’s just usually in more words and in a daily tweet
So, people who would have no interest in seeing the world of Borederlands adapted to a new medium?
“Hey guys, wanna buy my new Indiana Jones game? It’s meant for people who don’t like Indiana Jones, or games for that matter… What no? Why not”
(Note: The new Jones game actually looks good, it was just the first IP to come to mind)
These people do realize that the Mario movie had an entire segment dedicated to Mario Kart, which is like… the most popular Switch Game right? And the Sonic movies stayed true to the characters and had tons of little easter eggs for Sonic fans, even had some comic book tie-ins for the movie?
Just saying, when you cater to fans, fans will buy a product and show it to their friends and family saying “Oh hey, you know I’m a big fan of X. Well this is a good entry point for it if you wanna see what it’s like.”
Seriously I got a friend of mine who “Was too old for video games when Sonic came out” but had “Seen some fanart here and there he enjoyed” (I’m a furry, inter-generational friendships are kinda normal in that fanbase), but he saw the Sonic movie on my recommendation and it had him asking me for recommendations… Before I knew it he had purchased Sonic Adventure DX on Steam to learn more about Tails and Knuckles’ characters to get ready for the second movie, and Sonic Generations as well to get a quick run through of the hedgehog’s history in general.
This man is a Catholic dad who’s always busy with work, his kid, and his faith, but he found the time to love that Hedgehog, because they made a good movie that catered to fans. (Yes, Christians can be furries, the Christian Fur demographic is actually pretty big. Fun story, the fanart he’d been talking about was a comic about Tails becoming a Priest and later trying to help Sonic stave off Chili Dogs for Lent)
What I’m saying is, if you’re good to your fans, they’ll be good to you, and if people see a happy crowd they’ll want to join that happy crowd. Love makes the world go rounder than money does, and as a chubby chaser I do like round things… I forgot the point I was making as now I just have the Queen song “Fat-Bottomed Girls” stuck in my head.
The Mario movie had a Smash Bros scene too. They didn’t call it that and it was only Mario and DK but it was definitely themed as Smash Bros.
Yes actually
“The new X thing isn’t meant for YOU!111”
Is a common line the media pulls out when the product is failing or have poor reception. Don’t take responsibiliy for the company fucking up, that implies the company is capable of doing wrong. Just shame fans for liking a property and wanted to see it respected. Call them bigots and say the problem is the thing they like is bigoted!
It’s… absolute bullshit.
Sadly it works, people who aren’t well-informed think of the fans of X are just assholes and the new thing is good actually…
It also doesn’t work because the people who aren’t well informed weren’t fans of X, so they’re not seeing/playing the new X thing…
Meaning I guess the The New X thing wasn’t really for anybody… “Literally no one” is a strange demographic to market it to.
See: Skullgirls censoring their game in order to “appeal to a wider demographic”, outlets claiming Skullgirl fans who hate the changes are “secretly pedophiles”, aaaaand… Now the game has a dwindling player count, the Steam forums are reduced to asking when the game will be fixed, and the original creator who was not involved with the censorship has a defamation lawsuit going because a lot of people called him a diddler…
It also works the other way around, when something the big corporations DON’T want to be popular is, just slander it as bigoted
See Also: That time Cuphead fans shat on a game journalist for not being able to clear an overly easy tutorial, so the oulet he worked for tried to save his street cred by… claiming Cuphead was racist and a front for antisemitism… Which the Cuphead fanbase just kinda laughed at because it’s an asinine claim.
It really sucks because as somewhat of a social justice activist and a gamer, well… “Clowns to the right of me, Jokers to the left of me…”
Sidenote: Can we stop the trend of neutering female characters? Seriously bought a fucking Avengers comic the other day (I mostly read Sonic, but I’ll pick up the occasional Marvel from time to time if I think the story looks interst) and I didn’t realize till after I paid for it that the “Thor” on the cover was actually Captain Marvel… all I saw at first was “Blonde, Masculine Face, Masculine Build. I guess that’s a new Thor costume? I dunno, don’t keep up with it.”
Got to reading it in the car and realized “Oh shit, that’s actually Captain Marvel. Sorry about that Carol.”, this didn’t impede my enjoyment of the book mind you. I like Captain Marvel and Thor, so it’s all good…
Look she doesn’t need to pull a Power Girl and have tits the size of her head hanging out of her costume, but I feel like the de-sexualization of female characters has gone far beyond combatting the male gaze and is now reaching the “Dear God, can’t let people see her ankles!” stage, which is actually more sexist than keeping the ridiculous chain mail bikinis in the first place, as it implies that traits we consider feminine are inherently sinful and should be hidden from view.
I mean, I know the example I used was a comic, but this shit is happening in games too. I’m a woman and a gamer, games are my power fantasy, me being highly attractive is PART of my power fantasy. Stop making me not hot damn it!
Sorry it’s just… Kotaku’s complacent for creating the environment this happened in, and we’re talking about Kotaku so I felt like airing a grievance of mine.
Why didn’t they just make it a fucking animated movie?
In this style and humor please: https://youtu.be/TSsHG7p0jjU
I’m probably in the minority here but the realistic style is the least of my issues with the movie. I’ve only played modded minecraft and shaders give it that weird realistic look too lol
You’re not in the minority, I just think they should’ve committed to the bit more? The blending of styles is the weird part. Minecraft is already low fidelity and increasing the detail has always worked in the past for these movies. It’s part of why wreck it Ralph, the Mario movie, and even the emoji movie all did pretty well.
I actually enjoyed seeing stuff like the piglins and nether all dressed up and fancy. I just think the people are presented as if the movie contains no animation and it doesn’t work. If they want to make it work, do the Sonic thing and blend the worlds by putting animated spaces in the real world.
That won’t put butts in seats in theaters to make up for the money being invested. Microsoft wants a new generation of kid money.
what’s Microsoft
It seemed like it would be a cheesey movie with some dry humor and I was okay with it up until the girl character called Jack Black “a massive toolbag.” Thats not what I expect from a movie oriented to children, and that made me immediately drop any interest I had left. Then the rest of the trailer somehow got worse with the llama scene, whatever that was.
They should have made the movie animated in the same style as all their commercials, with the characters in a Minecraft style skin based on their real world appearance. Have them start and end in real life, whatever. But boy is this not going to be good.
This looks like the 90s Mario movie all over again. Or the Sonic movie – before they fixed Sonic. Like, even the Resident Evil and Tomb Raider movies are probably better than this and those movies were generally very inaccurate to their source material, and not well receieved.
Don’t remember who (and I’m not about to watch it again) but doesn’t someone also say “what the hell” at some point?
Yes they do.
Showed this to my kids. Their reaction was:
Kid 1: bruh
Kid 2: Is that the guy from Peaches?
Did that too. Boy and girl, 13 and 11. My daughter said it was dumb. The son wouldn’t even finish watching the trailer. He said it’s cringe.
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My kid loved it.
I wouldn’t watch it even if the trailer was really good but…I’m gonna shit on it for looking awful, not being targeted towards adults. That opening green screen shot looks AWFUL. I said in another thread it reminds me of those old car commercial edits with the Mark guy. The perspectives of the camera vs the background don’t seem to fit
All they would probably need to do is replace the main cast with digital game characters, or at least something that’s rendered so they at least blend in a lot better.
It almost seems like the Sonic movie thing, where they first released a trailer that was so awful they had to change Sonic to look much better. I’m still not sure if it was a very expensive marketing move or not.
Based on the quality of the rest of it, I’m leaning it’s not a marketing move lol
It completely looks like those fake College Humor or SNL trailers. You know, like this? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UiIRlg4Xr5w
who tf is it for then
Its proof-of-concept. They’re trying to get a movie out that’s entirely tied to the brand, without spending a meaningful amount of money on scripting, art direction, location scouting, or talent. This is the future of AI Movies in a nutshell.
How do you location scout for a movie about a block world?
Green screen my dude
Same way they did it for the Mario live action movie 30 years ago, I imagine. Get Tim Burton on it and I’m sure he’ll give you some advice.
Generate new world?
Didnt they already try that with Halo?
Children
I wouldn’t bring a kid anywhere near this brainrot garbage.
are children still playing minecraft?
Yes.
shareholders?
Great article, because it applies to anyone who reads it.
But the movie looks bad. That’s why people are mad.
Reminder: Jack Black broke up Tenacious D to try to save this thing
and…
“Oh, no see, you’re mad, but you see this version of the franchise isn’t for you. It’s for a new crowd that was alienated by the previous version and you need to be nice and let them have their…”
Shut the fuck up, if it’s a version of a thing made for people who are defined by not liking the thing, it’s not going to get the other crowd to like the thing, it’s just going to piss off the people who do like it…
This is the second time I’ve seen someone say this. Tenacious D is not broken up. Where are you getting this information?
Fuck kotaku. It’s biased journalism and garbage takes just for the sake of being garbage takes. Seriously the most useless reporting in the industry. And also, fuck Jack. He is a coward and should’ve had Kyle’s back. It wasn’t even that bad of a joke.
