I have a good friend that sounds kind of similar. She’s historically the most active among our friend group usually, generally the most fit and capable (she did the Alcatraz swim, for example). Eats completely reasonably, at times very well (due to what you’re describing). But she’s just always kinda large, even at her smallest. It’s always struck me as extremely unfair, like you said, and she’s really suffered for it.

I don’t know your situation, but she’s currently living her best life. Happy family with kids, loving kind partner, rewarding job in a stunningly beautiful (if fairly remote) location. And she deserves it, she’s a wonderful human.

But boy did she suffer frustration and hopelessness on repeat along the way. Nearly gave up on trying for the life she wanted more than once. And I fully recognize the deck is stacked in some important ways against folks like y’all, so please don’t read my “happy outcome” story as contradicting anything you said. But don’t give up on what ya want.