“Our goal in a couple of years is for people to think of Infowars as the funniest and dumbest website that exists,” Ben Collins, the Onion’s CEO, told The Associated Press. “It was previously the dumbest website that exists.”

Weird, they just let a psycho killer be a cop? I’m sure they’ll prevent that in the future.

I love you.

He knows. All they need is an excuse.

Well then I have bad news about dementia and habitual stimulant abuse…

I hope every day of his life is the new worst one.

You bet!

Exposing the moral depravity of reactionaries is kind of a pet project of mine.

Abilene Texas is a wretched hive of Christian nationalism and reactionary entitlement.

I only drive out there because I have family there; my niece was a victim of another pedo pastor there.

I’m imagining a seedy nest of lechery; empty whisky bottles strewn haphazardly on every surface imaginable. Opening kitchen doors is a gamble, and snake eyes means you’ve put your hand in some unidentifiably pungent, sticky, or greasy substance.

A glassy-eyed Giuliani sits on the battered leather couch that’s stained with a decade of fluids and spirits— he has become a part of it, sinking into the foam and springs. The lawyers kick his dangling foot, and life flutters back into his limbs; he shakes off the headache that has followed him like a bloodhound throughout his adulthood, letting it settle to a throbbing pulse in the back of his head. Black bile seeps out of this psychic wound as he cries out to an indifferent universe, but only a feeble croak escapes his lips.

Why won’t they release the pics?!

The Monkey Island game that came out a year or two ago was pretty great too if you want a modern take on the genre.

I imagine you’ve played some of the others, but if not you should do 1 & 2 immediately.

No, I realized that after I wrote it and did the lazy thing and didn’t edit.

One billionaire is an excess.

One cannot earn that much money without exploiting workers.

If you like point-and-click adventure games, there are a bunch in spooky territory:

The Colonel’s Bequest

Grim Fandango

Maniac Mansion/Day of the Tentacle

There are more, but these are the ones I’d start with if you haven’t played them.

Let’s do the IOC too.

Go away, you’re boring and predictable.

Go away, you’re boring and predictable.

Your surface-level understanding of political philosophy is matched only by your amateur legal credentials.

Gotta say: it’s hilarious how far you’ve gone to avoid answering a simple question that would expose the stupidity of your argument. So brave.

Now go away, you’re boring and predictable.

I have explained it; remember how you bravely avoided the question that would unequivocally prove your “principle” wrong?

And reactionary has a meaning; it’s very reactionary of you to try and redefine it exactly backwards.

You can try to reframe it, but the facts are clear.

Avoiding the question is it’s own cowardly answer.

Reactionaries always try to reframe things exactly backwards.

Do you think you should need to get permission to disconnect from the kidney machine? Or do you think that it’s your choice to share your body or not?

I know why you keep avoiding this question: it shows that you think your bodily autonomy is more important than a woman’s.

You can try to reframe the issue, but the facts are clear.