I don’t think you’re understanding my point. Trans-ness is, for me, defined by gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria, by its very definition, is the pain i experience by not looking like a cis woman. Visibility is not a thing i want to celebrate. Visibility is the affliction.

Can everyone be stealth? No, absolutely not, and being trans should be normalized. But i still feel very uncomfortable with my debilitating endocrine disorder being used as a point of pride, in the same way gay pride is.

I’m gay, and I’m out and proud of that. I love being visibly gay. But being trans is different because it’s not a thing i want to be.

So that trans youth growing up see trans adults in their community

When i was a teenager back in the early 00s, i went to a trans support group. It largely consisted of older transitioners, age 50+, who were not living good lives, through no fault of their own. But it was a very dark experience for me. I expected that my life would play out like theirs, and i would join the 41% club. I never thought that I’d get to experience just being a regular girl, and that part still seems surreal a decade later.

This is a common experience for young trans people seeking support. This is “trans visibility” and it harmed me profoundly. What would’ve been really nice back then were successful role models who make their trans-ness an incidental detail. We have those now, and they’re not what I’d call “visible” to cis people, although they don’t hide who they are.

so that trans adults see older trans people.

I’m still waiting to find older rolemodels. Most of us are really sad when we get older. I don’t know how similar this is to the general lgbt population, but I’m concerned. My goal is to build a little family, and then just live a quiet life and keep each other close.

Hi trashgirlfriend, your username is cute, will you marry me so we can have a short, toxic marriage with lots of good sex and domestic violence?

That was my immediate thought. This is obviously the output of an LLM.

Prompt: “list the ways the 1% (or the most affluent and powerful segment of society) is actively preventing true ownership of the things we buy”

Lmao that’s a really good analogy. If i had extra nipples, i wouldn’t want “extra nipples day of visibility” but i also wouldn’t want anyone to make a big deal about me taking my shirt off at the beach.

“We can disappear into the world and continue to live in the shadows,” he says. “But ultimately, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

Ugh. I really wish people would quit saying this. I don’t want “visibility.” “Trans visibility” feels like an insult. I want to be invisible, and anything less is torment. Some people will never pass as the gender they identify with, but for them to prescribe their feelings on all of us is not fair.

This is ultimately a big part of it, and it’s universal, not just in dating. Most friendships are “friendships of convenience” and the other types of relationships typically progress from there. But in western culture, we don’t have any third places, and so we just plain don’t make friendships of convenience anymore.

I’ve found several long term relationships off tinder as a WLW. It seems to work pretty well for me. The system doesn’t seem to be working for guys, and that’s unfortunate. But a lot of the pressure on women to settle for any man has gone away as women have become more self reliant. The whole thing has become far more consensual and less mandatory for survival. That’s going to influence men’s dating success no matter what medium people use to find matches.

You’re missing the point. At a right turn, traffic is coming from the left and pedestrians are coming from the right. You focus left to make sure traffic is clear and then go, meanwhile a pedestrian has entered the intersection from the right and you don’t notice them.

I got medboarded out after a suicide attempt related to being trans in the military under DADT. At least i didn’t get OTH, although I’m still not eligible for a VA home loan.

You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s easy to say “things could never possibly be that bad” when you haven’t experienced it. I hope you never do. I’m guessing you’re a white man between 20-40, and while life hasn’t always been easy, the social contract has mostly held for you.

That’s the thing that has always driven me crazy about our way of speaking about these things. Politicians say “we created x jobs” like it’s something to optimize for. People fear automation because it takes away their livelihoods. But, automating work and eliminating jobs should make people’s lives… better? Why doesn’t it actually? Where did the wires get crossed?

Why did we incentivize making humans suffer, at a grand societal level? Are we insane?

Not implying, just saying it. What do you think SW means?

This is normal in the United States and has been for a long time. When i was a homeless LGBT teenager trying to survive, i went to a temp agency trying to make a living some other way than SW. They sent me to this warehouse where a bunch of felons and ESL people were working in some of the most inhumane conditions i had ever seen before. 12 hour days in a 110 degree warehouse working with toxic industrial chemicals that we had no information on, with a bare minimum of PPE, intense physical labor moving large stacks of equipment, and one break at the 6 hour mark to drink water. Most of the people there had been there a while. They just had this quiet resignation and determination to survive.

I didn’t even last a single day. I started to feel heat stroke coming on around the 8 hour mark. Shivering, no more sweat, everything started to feel distant and confusing. I tried to go get water and they wouldn’t let me, so i threw all my equipment on the ground and stumbled outside to find water, and never went back. I’m white, trans, and feminine enough to survive other ways, but most of those people didn’t have any other options.

Fuck this monstrous place. I’ve been radicalized ever since seeing things like that.

It’s ok to use self referential slurs. They’re our words 😌