The Onion’s first headline needs to be:

“Oh Shit! It’s ALL true!”

Reassemble the MythBusters

Oh no! The Americans will have to say Stop! again.

To be fair, chocolate milk comes from milk.

Milk comes from cows.

Most cows are at least partially brown, many 50% or more brown.

Conversly, albino cows constitute a small portion of the milk supply.

So it is, arguably, a correct statement.

Most will be too uneducated to comprehend.

They did get Jenkins tho!

Im sorry you were unable to percieve the sarcasm ridiculing the legislation for its shortsightedness.

If only those affected could call for an appointment to swap to those low or no cost phones.

engagement prisons

Need to get Elon’s AI robot to master ju-jit-su and target Zuck.

Duct tape?

Only legal for educationale, reproductioning, or ownin dem libs. (sic.)

How are they going to write a law that bans social media while allowing online school?

Sure it was a Comm satellite for the world’s tensest area, which is about to go to bigger war.

who would have ASAT capability at GEO?

how could it be launched to GEO undetected?

Times are tough without all that money from selling Easter Seal hides.

The Un doesn’t do it for you/us?

It drives your full self, it doesn’t break you into components and ship those seperately.

No way the USA keeps their best weapons at a place called Blackman…

There are probably enemy watching those planes in the region, outside the base watching the planes take off and land.

Calling in the b2 retains suprise.

I bet they are responding to the prices in the shopping services apps.

Amazon has a space program with rockets, Google is acquiring the nuclear facilities, will Microsoft develop a weapons manufacturing facility?